Every villain eventually returns to the scene of the crime. As far as cricket arches go, that’s it. David Warner – although only briefly at the crease – performed again today in Birmingham.
The city has seen Ashes cricket’s most notorious punches and kicks since Ian Botham and Ian Chappell swapped bats in Adelaide in 1977, only two years have passed
I hardly need to present you with the naked truth. A group of England players, including Joe Root, Stuart Broad and Steve Finn, played the day’s ODI at Birmingham City in June 2013 The central Walkabout bar celebrates the victory over Australia. And David Warner, who got so mad at seeing Root’s comic wig that he slapped him.
Many questions about that fateful night remain unanswered to this day. How did Root – who looked to be about fourteen at the time – get into the Promenade? Why did players from both camps – rich and connected – choose the Walkabout as their postgame celebration? It’s funny how, despite their rivalry and animosity, the cricketers came together over a shared love of snakebites, sticking floors and singing along to Hi Ho Silver Lining.
But why is Joe Root wearing a green and gold shiny wig in the first place? Early reports focused on the information that not only Root, but three other England representatives, including Broad, had also been made comical by a series of such items. This in itself raises questions. Do England players often travel with their cheerful wigs just in case? Or did this group of people consciously take a detour to buy it at a late-night clothing store?
Then there’s the question of Warner’s response. What exactly was the wig that incited his violence? Does he have an instinctive, deep-rooted aversion to brightly colored synthetic hair? Did Warner think it was such an affront to natural social justice that he was forced to be lynched? Or was it the particular style or design of the wig, or the angle Root wore the wig at that made him see red?
But the truth will always come out. Here we are indebted to Her Majesty’s Publishing for their tireless investigative work, which has uncovered the truth in a rare cricket example of dogged journalism.
That’s the news that Root didn’t go on tour with a wig. The item is also not his property. We now know that Root stole the wig from one of Warner’s associates.
As reported by The Guardian, the Australian opener revealed:
Warner said: “One of my mates actually put it on his head like a [Lasith] Malinga wig, that’s it. He put it on his head and [Root] decided to come in and take it off my mate’s head Take it off and start acting like him.
“When people get drunk, they get drunk, but I found the way he handled it a little bit out of place, so I went over and tried to take it from him. “I just think in today’s society, you shouldn’t be with someone like that Stuff mixed up. He probably didn’t mean anything, but I just thought…actually, I can’t say I thought…I probably let my aggression and alcohol take over and probably found an excuse for me to go there and Actually go and take it from him.
So far, easy. Who among us wouldn’t take a similar approach in this situation? You can understand Warner’s natural desire to return the wig to its rightful owner.
But aside from why Birmingham party shops stock Lalith Malinga wigs, is the Sri Lankan paceman a popular theme at Black Country hen parties? – Another problem remains. Why does Warner Roots consider behavior “inappropriate” in “today’s society”? Should brazen lending of wigs be lumped in the same category as what used to be considered harmless fun but is now decidedly politically incorrect, along with a comical Sikh accent or the rubbing of a hand on a typist’s skirt?
The truth is much more complicated. According to the Daily Mail,
Root grabbed a green and blond wig from one of Warner’s friends and draped it over his chin, which the Australian claimed was mocking South African player Hashim Amla.
This crucial new detail—the wig’s transfer from the head to Root’s own chin—provides the final piece of this sad puzzle. In fairness, what other reasonable conclusions could Warner have drawn? Root may not bear a particular resemblance to South Africa’s devout Muslim captain, but for Warner the allegations and innuendo are crystal clear.
Arsonist Oakle has already come under constant criticism for his often ruthless words and actions, not least because of his actions on Night of the Walking Dead. But we can only hope for a certain level of revisionism for now. Beneath his loud and aggressive exterior, Warner was actually a fearless fighter for multiculturalism and religious equality. While others in his position may not have responded to Root’s provocations in the same way, we must admire the warmth and sincerity of Warner’s code of ethics and his steadfast refusal to let transgressions pass unchallenged.
Whatever happens in Edgbaston over the next five days, I’m sure you’ll share my desire to learn the lessons and heal the wounds. In the future, maybe Joe Root will think twice about what it means to wear a green and blonde wig over his chin in today’s racially sensitive climate. maybe david